I haven’t written a post in a while, this came to me on my run this past Sunday.
I am one of the most socially interactive people you will ever meet. I smile and say hello to anyone as I pass them. I am very engaging in conversation. I was painfully shy as a child and growing up. Anyone who knows me is probably shaking their head right now and saying “I don’t believe that for a minute”.
I came out of my shell when I was promoted from hostess to waitress at a restaurant in North Carolina. I’ll never forget that exact moment when my shell cracked. I walked up to my first table. My trainer, Lori, was right behind me. I spoke so quietly the people could not hear me. They were regulars, knew me as the hostess so they knew they were my “first” and actually volunteered for this awkward opportunity. Lori promptly elbowed me in my back and said to me “You are not going to get anywhere in this position or in your life unless you speak up”.
For those of you who know me now and want to say “Good Lord woman do you EVER shut up?” Blame Lori!
What on earth does me yammering away in the grocery store line and having the ability to find out a stranger’s third grade teacher’s gold fish’s name have to do with running?
It takes a lot of energy to be “social” and engaging in conversation. Bubbly. I rarely have “alone time”. Ever. My time for me and only time for me is when I run. I am not “Mom”. I am not “Wife”. I am not “Friend”. I am not “Coach”. I am “Me”.
I get invited to run with groups and individuals, a lot. It’s really nice actually. There are so many awesome people where I live. Amazing people visit where I live. My schedule and family schedule make it extremely difficult for me to run when others do, however there are times when I can run with others. I have run with other people. I have run with a group. I’ve had a lot of fun running with others. However, I prefer to run alone. I want to run alone.
I am a lone wolf when I run. I want to be left alone, just me and my thoughts. I want my run to be on my terms. No expectations to live up to other than my own. I guess this is another reason why I love running on the treadmill, just me and the run. I don’t want to talk; I don’t want to be social. I want to be alone. This is my time to reboot. Refresh. De-stress.
Does this mean I am like this 100% of the time. No. As I said before I have run with others and groups and enjoyed it. But these are rare special occasions. I cherish my alone time with the run.
When I am asked to run with someone, usually schedule truly prohibits this from happening. Most often times I will be cordial and say, “that would be nice”. In theory I enjoy people’s company and want to see the person who is asking. Do I want to run with them? Maybe, but the chance of it happening, slim to none. Would I want to meet up with them after a run for coffee, breakfast, or lunch? SURE!
I love my friends, family, and running community. I am truly very lucky to be surrounded by great wonderful people.
But for the record…
No. I will not run with you.